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<title>Eight - Wilbur Soot SongFicangst by CaieIsBored (Lookitsagay)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29477010">Eight - Wilbur Soot SongFicangst</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lookitsagay/pseuds/CaieIsBored'>CaieIsBored (Lookitsagay)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Album: Atlas: Enneagram (Sleeping at Last), Angst, Mentioned Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Song: Eight (Sleeping At Last), Songfic, Villain Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot Angst, Wilbur Soot Needs a Hug, Wilbur Soot is Not Okay, phil Watson is a shit dad, type eight enneagrams are misrepresented</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:15:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29477010</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lookitsagay/pseuds/CaieIsBored</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic of Eight by sleeping at last, the song that inspired Wilbur’s character on the smp.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Eight - Wilbur Soot SongFicangst</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/761415">Eight</a> by Sleeping At last.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Long AN but pls read for context</p>
<p>BRO SO I LOVE THE FACT THAT ALIVEBUR WAS INSPIRED BY THE SONG EIGHT -</p>
<p>I've been like full on obsessing over the enneagram recently,, I'm a type eight and I fucking love this song so much,, I relate soooo much. If you're interested in this shit, are a type 8 or are friends with a type 8, I'd recommend listening to Sleeping At Last's podcast on the making of this song and the type 8 because I know it was an eye opener for me and makes Wilbur's and most eight's motives easier to grasp. </p>
<p>A lot of the stuff I mention, like testing relationships and such is explained really well in the podcast because of the way 8's are always expecting to be betrayed. Or, leave a comment and I will happily explain in great lengths.</p>
<p>Or even find the song for your type and give the podcast a listen because it is worth it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wilbur stood in front of the button looking over L'manberg, feeling the gentle breeze from the mouth of the cave whipping his hair around his eyes. </p>
<p>He remembered back before all this, when everything had been better. When he'd been ok, back in his Presidency. He remembered standing over his beautiful country, looking over it from the top of the wall. </p>
<p>Back when L'manberg had been a place of peace and sanctuary, and it had all been ok. </p>
<p>He was just Wilbur, then new aspiring leader who gave his people a place of freedom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~I remember the minute<br/>
It was like a switch was flipped~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then of course, he'd been there. He'd stood down under the podium, watching Schlatt walk up. </p>
<p>His old friend, who had betrayed him, and taken up his own leadership instead of just helping Wilbur.</p>
<p>It had been ok. </p>
<p>Then Wilbur was thrown out, and banished.</p>
<p>His old friend, who he'd welcomed back into his life, given an opportunity to help him, just tore it all away like it was nothing and discarded him, throwing him to the side like they'd never met.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~I was just a kid who grew up strong enough<br/>
To pick this armor up<br/>
And suddenly it fit~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shut down. He tossed his emotions aside. </p>
<p>Fuck Schlatt, fuck that whole goddamn country. </p>
<p>He didn't need them. He didn't need to win. </p>
<p>He closed off the paths that made him weak and kept his emotions at a superficial level. </p>
<p>Kept his relationships hollow. They were fun, and useful. But meaningful? Not so much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago<br/>
I was little, I was weak and perfectly naive<br/>
And I grew up too quick~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He scoffed now, looking back on it, the way he'd been so happy and optimistic, sure it would all work out.</p>
<p>When he thought of the way he'd acted around everyone, always laughing and happy and open. </p>
<p>Open, woundable, vunerable. </p>
<p>Easily exploited. </p>
<p>It wasn't so easy now though, was it? </p>
<p>They all just say him as a raging madman without feelings. His heart twisted slightly at the thought but he shook it away.</p>
<p>They failed him. </p>
<p>He tested them, asked them to stick by him, to trust him with little ideas, then bigger ones. And they all spectacularly let him down. </p>
<p>He was alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~Now you won't see all that I have to lose<br/>
And all I've lost in the fight to protect it<br/>
I won't let you in, I swore never again~</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tommy had tried to talk to him again, oh he'd tried. But no way was Wilbur going to let that happen again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can't afford, no, I refuse to be rejected</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He couldn't be weak. </p>
<p>He couldn't let himself be exploited again, let himself be vulnerable, lower his guard.</p>
<p>He couldn't take down his walls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~I want to break these bones 'til they're better<br/>
I want to break them right and feel alive<br/>
You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong<br/>
My healing needed more than time~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stripped it all back and started again, covering all his wounds and fixing them himself. He worked on himself until he found the invulnerability he needed. </p>
<p>He kept going and trying. When he felt his unwelcomed naivety come back he learnt how to send it away in order to conquer forwards. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things<br/>
I see the familiar~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He saw himself in Tommy, in his raw determination and hope for a better life.</p>
<p>Part of him wanted to cradle it close, to nurture it and make sure he actually got his time as a child, without the worries of a world pressing against him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too<br/>
Now I'm a broken mirror~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part of him wanted to show him how to ditch it and move forwards, to avoid the hurt and be strong.</p>
<p>To build up Tommy's walls so high no one could break them down again, so he could be strong like Wilbur now was instead of letting other people hurt him.</p>
<p>Now as he stood at the button, seeing Tommy down there, he couldn't help give a sad sort of chuckle. He turned around.</p>
<p>Tommy would just have to learn the same way he had, if he really was so adamant about keeping L'manberg.</p>
<p>Because that wasn't happening. He stepped forwards, fingers brushing over the corners of the button.</p>
<p>"What are you doing?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~But I can't let you see all that I have to lose<br/>
All I've lost in the fight to protect it<br/>
I can't let you in, I swore never again<br/>
I can't afford to let myself be blindsided~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wil looked at Phil, keeping his face entirely passive as they stood facing each other in that room.</p>
<p>He took in a deep breath as he asked, "Do you know what this button is?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart<br/>
And all I want is to trust you~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He almost wanted Phil to just step forwards and hug him, to comfort him and tell him it was ok, but he couldn't. He didn't even know if he could trust Phil.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~Show me how to lay my sword down<br/>
For long enough to let you through~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His voice shook slightly as he spoke and he fiddled with the side of his coat as Phil nodded.  </p>
<p>He needed Phil to hold him like he was ok again, like Wilbur was just his son again and he was still worthy of love.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~Here I am, pry me open<br/>
What do you want to know?~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He wanted Phil to act like he was still just another person, like he was more than this unfeeling, strong mask he held up all the time. He wanted Phil to make the first move so that Wilbur could stop, so that Wil had an excuse to - to be vulnerable. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough<br/>
To hold the door shut<br/>
And bury my innocence~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because he wasn't unfeeling, and strong, and invincible. </p>
<p>He was hurting and aching and still breaking even though you could barely tell. </p>
<p>Because no one else could tell. He'd shoved them all away and closed off to help himself. But sometimes he knew that wasn't good.</p>
<p>Sometimes - sometimes he just wanted to cry into his dad's shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~But here's a map, here's a shovel<br/>
Here's my Achilles' heel~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Have you heard... the song? On the walls?" he begun, voice shaking as he tried to explain, eyes downcast and embarrassed as he prepared himself to properly talk to his father. </p>
<p>To be open.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~I'm all in, palms out<br/>
I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin<br/>
I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough to let you in~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Have you heard the song? I was just saying, I made this big point, it was poignant, and it's um... There was a special place where men could go, but it's not there anymore y'know, it's not-" he cut off with a sigh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He needed Phil to understand and reassure him, or to show him the solution the right way.</p>
<p>But Phil just said, "It is there. You've just- You've just won it back, Wil!"</p>
<p>Wil shook his head, those feelings fading back slightly. He just let his rage come up, his defensive walls, raising his voice with a determination to be right. For Phil to be wrong. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~I'ma shake the ground with all my might~</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pushed the button. And soon enough he saw the explosion, flames dancing around, reflected in his eyes. </p>
<p>He turned back to Phil, and he gave Phil his final test.</p>
<p>He took in a breath, rage and elation floating through his chest. "Phil, kill me."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~And I will pull my whole heart up to the surface<br/>
For the innocent, for the vulnerable<br/>
And I'll show up on the front lines with a purpose~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stood there, bared and vulnerable in front of Phil, gaping hole of the cave mouth silhouetting the way his coat flickered in the breeze. </p>
<p>What he actually wanted was his father to take his side, to stick by him the way Wilbur knew he would if it was his other children. </p>
<p>He pushed Phil. </p>
<p>He wanted the angel to see past his act, to put down the sword and love him instead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~And I'll give all I have, I'll give my blood, give my sweat~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He wanted to be taken back home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He felt the sword pierce his ribs and he gasped, pain blinding him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~I'm shattered porcelain, glued back together again~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But like everyone else in Wilbur's life, he'd failed the test. They always failed, they always let him down. </p>
<p>He saw the blood dripping off the hilt of his diamond sword that pierced through his skin and he felt a tear prickling in his eyes.</p>
<p>They failed him.</p>
<p>Again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~Invincible like I've never been~</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Nyoom nyoom motherfuckers. </p>
<p>Also published as a one shot on Wattpad in the book ‘Ephialtes’ by sadistic-author. </p>
<p>ALSO Eights aren’t always bad, Winston Churchill, Martin Luther king jr and mother Theresa were all eights so stick that in your pipe and smoke it</p></blockquote></div></div>
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